Gift From God

May 30, 1998. I am New York trying to play semi-pro football. It didn't work out and I was devastated. I even went through some mild depression and questioned my future. I dropped out of college to pursue this opportunity and when it fell through, it left me lost as to what I was going to do. I was 330 lbs. and my life appeared to be going in a bad direction and a lonely direction at that.

June 21, 1998. I am back home and it is my birthday. I have a choice between a brand new set of drums or a computer. I am an avid drummer and had been dreaming of the set for a long time, but for some reason I still do not know why, I chose the computer. I set it up when I got it around July the 7th, and signed up with an internet service. I spent my entire time on the internet when I first got it, looking up football statistics, music bands that I enjoy listening to, and finding beautiful pictures to use as desktop wallpaper.

July 13, 1998. I am visiting a site about my favorite football team and I see this site called "match.com" at the bottom of the page. I click on it from curiosity and begin a one week trial period where I leave a description of myself and about the kind of woman I am interested in finding, under the name "bigroyce." I never really took it serious and I never looked at the site again. Then I continued back on my search of football statistics.

July 13, 1998. A woman is at work looking on the internet at some gymnastics stuff. She spots an add at the bottom of that page for a site called "match.com" and says what the hell, lets try it. She fills out the questionnaire under the name "havetohaveme" and then returns to the gymnastics page briefly. She then returns back to the site to browse the profiles of the males. She comes across the profile of one "bigroyce" and e-mails him a brief letter telling him to write her and that she would like to get to know him.

July 15, 1998. I check my e-mail to find the e-mail left by "havetohaveme" and was very surprised. I e-mailed her back and told her some things about me.

After that day, we have hit it off wonderfully. At first I was doubtful because we live 2200 miles apart. We started out slowly by e-mailing each other. Then it wasn't a week later, that we were exchanging photographs. And finally on August 5, I called her and we talked for over an hour during our first conversation. We have sent each other many photos, talked on the phone a few times, sent many postal letters, and have written each other I think a combined total of over 250 e-mails since July 15. We have plans now to meet on New Years Eve such as you two. I already have my bus tickets and we have talked about the many things we have to talk about and do when I get there.

She is truly a gift from God. If you look at the odds, if just one of us decided not to sign up on match.com we would have never met. If I would have stayed in New York, I would have never met her and at first I thought it was the end of my world to have to come back home, but look at what it has brought me, the most beautiful and wonderful woman in the world. The path that led us together could have only been paved by the hands of God. There is not a second that goes by without me giving thanks for her and I am not longing for her constantly. And you know what, she has given me the motivation I needed to get in shape for something other than football, life. I am now down to 265 pounds and am in the best shape of my life. Also, I am back in college, studying to be a nurse. I can't express enough how amazing love on the internet has been for me. I was very skeptical towards the possibilities of a true love via the internet, but my how it can change in a heartbeat.

Don't get me wrong, the internet relationship is not one that is always sunny days, it is a true test for both people engaged. It tests the amount of honesty that each shares, that is an aspect that I really appreciate with this type of relationship. But the biggest test, to me anyway, is the test of faith. You MUST HAVE FAITH in God and in your partner in order for an internet relationship to work. And, OH how easy it is to doubt and speculate what your partner is doing in your absence. But that is what makes the relationship even more strong, if you can last through the period of time when you are not together, imagine how strong and passionate your love for each other will be when you are in each others presence.

I love her with all my heart and look forward for our meeting on New Years Eve. I want to testify that internet relationships are worth getting involved in. They allow you to be so much more open with your partner than you normally would.